Relationships : Indecent proposals and the Naija economy
Arebi,
What would you do for survival? How low can you stoop to conquer? What would you do to achieve your dreams, secure and sustain that job, put food on that table, or get that position you so desire?I met Elizabeth, now 32 and working in one of the new generation banks on contract, roughly about six years ago. Fresh from University and a humble, religious background, Lizzy as we fondly call her had come to live in the neighbourhood with her uncle and was eager to take on the world.
Very respectful and ready to assist, we were one of the few she gave her CV to while job hunting. She never fails to narrate her first baptism of fire which jolted her to the reality of the employment market and the precarious working environment many young female Nigerians have to navigate in order to become responsible citizens. Though she insists she has not been swayed from her chosen path, Lizzy believes the crushing economic situation is leaving many young people, including males little or no choice but to play ball for survival. Lizzy shares her experience today.
‘I’d heard several stories about how women have to use their bodies to secure placements in work places; use sex to get promotions and wage increases, but nothing prepared me for what transpired at my first job interview some few ago. It was my confirmation that things have really gone bad in this country and that we need divine intervention. I had come to Lagos from Ibadan after my Service year in search of a job.
I was to live with an uncle, work and further my studies. My uncle had promised to get me a job with one of his friends. But when it seemed as if the promise was not going to be fulfilled after about three months, I decided to do something about my life before things took a turn for the worse. By then, I had practically become the house keeper, nanny and cook for my uncle and his wife. It is not that I didn’t want to help out at home, after all, I was living off them. But it appeared my uncle’s wife had taken me for granted and was treating me as if I was in their employ, to serve them. I discovered on arrival that their last house help left just before I came. So, to my uncle’s wife, I was a replacement for her. I would work from morning to evening, doing market runs, school runs for the youngest child, washing and cooking. After three months, I knew I had to save myself.
I started searching through newspapers and magazines for vacancies. I wrote several applications for all manner of jobs, and finally, a front desk job before I got a reply. The interview was very brief and I was very happy with my performance. I knew there was no way they could conduct a free and fair selection without short listing me. So, I was not surprised when I was called again for another round of interviews. It was oral. There were four of us and I knew it was going to be based on looks, comportment and language. The other girls were quite pretty too and well dressed.
They wore fashionable clothes and heavy make-up, but I thought I was unique since I did everything moderately. I was proved right once again when we were now short listed to two. So, the contest was between myself and one other girl. A few minutes after we were given the result of the oral interview, someone came and asked us to wait for the HR manager. It was just a little after noon. We were ushered into a waiting room and there we sat for the next four hours.
Nobody told us why or gave us an idea of what we were waiting for. The girl was not friendly and I knew she was deliberately rebuffing my friendship. She would pretend not to hear me when I ask her a question. And if she was forced to answer, it would be short or monosyllabic. It was because of the job and she already saw me as an enemy. Never did it cross her mind that they could employ the two of us. ““At the close of work that evening, the Admin. Manager asked us to come to his office.
There was nothing striking about his looks, he was just there, average in every way. He asked us to take our seats, cleared his throat and without looking at either of us, began talking. He told us that we’d both done very well. That he was proud to tell us that the company would find our services really worthwhile and we should keep up the excellent performance we have put into the interviews when we eventually start working. At that point, even the hostile girl took a glance at me with a smile on her face. She had assumed that the two of us had made the job. Suddenly, the man dropped the bomb shell.
The company regrets that it has only one vacancy to fill, and so, only one of us will get the job! He raised his head from the file he was looking at and asked which one of us it will be. I was the first to find my tongue, and so I told him it would depend on him and the company. So, he said he has a good way of making up his mind but that he would need us to help him out. Since whoever gets the job depends on him, and both of us were qualified, the one willing to sleep with him will get the job. I was shocked and I think the girl was too. We both sat there for what seemed like ages, I’m sure each thinking what to make of the proposal. Realising that his proposal was a difficult one, the man then told us to go and think about it and give him a call if we accept. I began thinking about the job. Yes, it would be good if I got the job, but how would I feel whenever the man passed by me in the office after we’d had sex. Would I be expected to continue sleeping with him since he gave me the job? Would he just do it once and forget it ever happened? What if I start the job and some other boss also wants to sleep with me, that will mean two people in the same office. Or how would I feel if he decides to tell everybody that I slept with him to get the job?
I decided it was a serious matter that needed proper consideration before one could decide on the big move. Since the man had given us till the next day to think it over, I still had time on my hands and could consult with the few friends I had in Lagos. Maybe this was the way people secure jobs in Lagos.
But to my greatest shock, the other girl just blurted out that she was ready to do it! I stood there looking at her in shock, but she did not even seem to notice I was there again. She turned to the man and they began fixing a date. She was to go and wait for him at a joint a few meters from the office. Then, he told me to try my luck elsewhere as the girl was the first to speak. Just then, a kind of boldness just crept into me, so I told him I had no intention of accepting his proposal in the first place, and that I will still get a job that I would not have to descend so low to get the job. He told me to suit myself and stood up, signifying the end of the matter.
I could not believe what had transpired as I went home. I kept thinking about it and how unlucky I was. How I had lost such a good job to another girl who was not smarter than I am. I tried to weigh the hassles of doing a thankless job back home for my uncle’s wife and what the man had proposed. Was it really worth sacrificing a good job for? But I also knew that even if I’d taken the offer and the job, I would probably be forced to leave because I will not be comfortable there for long. If anyone frowned or laughed too much near me, I would probably conclude they’d heard my story.“Back home, I was just too confused about the day’s event that I had to share it with my uncle and his wife. To my surprise, it was no news to them. They both went on to tell me of several similar stories they’d heard about.
The stories almost convinced me that I had perhaps made a mistake and ought to have tried to take the offer. Now that I have been able to secure a placement in the bank, I have been overwhelmed with different stories circulating in the system. If one is not careful, you will end up joining the band wagon. The banking sector is a peculiar place to work. Some colleagues have admitted dating their bosses just so they could secure their jobs. They are afraid that that the men would begin to find fault with them and force them out, should they refuse. And there is little one can do. From young single ladies to older married ones, it’s a similar story.
Sometime, I even think the married ones are more promiscuous than the single ones. And it’s not just the bosses alone, sometimes many have to use the same method to secure accounts and even hold on to account because of the stiff competition in the industry. To make matters worse, a boss might set you up with the client for the sake of an account.
A lot is going on here and it seems there is no way out for now, especially when you consider the economic situation of the country. Nigeria is now such a vicious society to live in. You are either in or out in the cold, and there is little anyone can do for you. You just have to protect yourself. As soon as I finish Chattered Accounting examinations, I am leaving this job. What I will not subscribe to is harassment that will not bring anything positive to me. If I’m harassed and I will benefit from it, then, I will do it.
What would you do for survival? How low can you stoop to conquer? What would you do to achieve your dreams, secure and sustain that job, put food on that table, or get that position you so desire?I met Elizabeth, now 32 and working in one of the new generation banks on contract, roughly about six years ago. Fresh from University and a humble, religious background, Lizzy as we fondly call her had come to live in the neighbourhood with her uncle and was eager to take on the world.
Very respectful and ready to assist, we were one of the few she gave her CV to while job hunting. She never fails to narrate her first baptism of fire which jolted her to the reality of the employment market and the precarious working environment many young female Nigerians have to navigate in order to become responsible citizens. Though she insists she has not been swayed from her chosen path, Lizzy believes the crushing economic situation is leaving many young people, including males little or no choice but to play ball for survival. Lizzy shares her experience today.
‘I’d heard several stories about how women have to use their bodies to secure placements in work places; use sex to get promotions and wage increases, but nothing prepared me for what transpired at my first job interview some few ago. It was my confirmation that things have really gone bad in this country and that we need divine intervention. I had come to Lagos from Ibadan after my Service year in search of a job.
I was to live with an uncle, work and further my studies. My uncle had promised to get me a job with one of his friends. But when it seemed as if the promise was not going to be fulfilled after about three months, I decided to do something about my life before things took a turn for the worse. By then, I had practically become the house keeper, nanny and cook for my uncle and his wife. It is not that I didn’t want to help out at home, after all, I was living off them. But it appeared my uncle’s wife had taken me for granted and was treating me as if I was in their employ, to serve them. I discovered on arrival that their last house help left just before I came. So, to my uncle’s wife, I was a replacement for her. I would work from morning to evening, doing market runs, school runs for the youngest child, washing and cooking. After three months, I knew I had to save myself.
I started searching through newspapers and magazines for vacancies. I wrote several applications for all manner of jobs, and finally, a front desk job before I got a reply. The interview was very brief and I was very happy with my performance. I knew there was no way they could conduct a free and fair selection without short listing me. So, I was not surprised when I was called again for another round of interviews. It was oral. There were four of us and I knew it was going to be based on looks, comportment and language. The other girls were quite pretty too and well dressed.
They wore fashionable clothes and heavy make-up, but I thought I was unique since I did everything moderately. I was proved right once again when we were now short listed to two. So, the contest was between myself and one other girl. A few minutes after we were given the result of the oral interview, someone came and asked us to wait for the HR manager. It was just a little after noon. We were ushered into a waiting room and there we sat for the next four hours.
Nobody told us why or gave us an idea of what we were waiting for. The girl was not friendly and I knew she was deliberately rebuffing my friendship. She would pretend not to hear me when I ask her a question. And if she was forced to answer, it would be short or monosyllabic. It was because of the job and she already saw me as an enemy. Never did it cross her mind that they could employ the two of us. ““At the close of work that evening, the Admin. Manager asked us to come to his office.
There was nothing striking about his looks, he was just there, average in every way. He asked us to take our seats, cleared his throat and without looking at either of us, began talking. He told us that we’d both done very well. That he was proud to tell us that the company would find our services really worthwhile and we should keep up the excellent performance we have put into the interviews when we eventually start working. At that point, even the hostile girl took a glance at me with a smile on her face. She had assumed that the two of us had made the job. Suddenly, the man dropped the bomb shell.
The company regrets that it has only one vacancy to fill, and so, only one of us will get the job! He raised his head from the file he was looking at and asked which one of us it will be. I was the first to find my tongue, and so I told him it would depend on him and the company. So, he said he has a good way of making up his mind but that he would need us to help him out. Since whoever gets the job depends on him, and both of us were qualified, the one willing to sleep with him will get the job. I was shocked and I think the girl was too. We both sat there for what seemed like ages, I’m sure each thinking what to make of the proposal. Realising that his proposal was a difficult one, the man then told us to go and think about it and give him a call if we accept. I began thinking about the job. Yes, it would be good if I got the job, but how would I feel whenever the man passed by me in the office after we’d had sex. Would I be expected to continue sleeping with him since he gave me the job? Would he just do it once and forget it ever happened? What if I start the job and some other boss also wants to sleep with me, that will mean two people in the same office. Or how would I feel if he decides to tell everybody that I slept with him to get the job?
I decided it was a serious matter that needed proper consideration before one could decide on the big move. Since the man had given us till the next day to think it over, I still had time on my hands and could consult with the few friends I had in Lagos. Maybe this was the way people secure jobs in Lagos.
But to my greatest shock, the other girl just blurted out that she was ready to do it! I stood there looking at her in shock, but she did not even seem to notice I was there again. She turned to the man and they began fixing a date. She was to go and wait for him at a joint a few meters from the office. Then, he told me to try my luck elsewhere as the girl was the first to speak. Just then, a kind of boldness just crept into me, so I told him I had no intention of accepting his proposal in the first place, and that I will still get a job that I would not have to descend so low to get the job. He told me to suit myself and stood up, signifying the end of the matter.
I could not believe what had transpired as I went home. I kept thinking about it and how unlucky I was. How I had lost such a good job to another girl who was not smarter than I am. I tried to weigh the hassles of doing a thankless job back home for my uncle’s wife and what the man had proposed. Was it really worth sacrificing a good job for? But I also knew that even if I’d taken the offer and the job, I would probably be forced to leave because I will not be comfortable there for long. If anyone frowned or laughed too much near me, I would probably conclude they’d heard my story.“Back home, I was just too confused about the day’s event that I had to share it with my uncle and his wife. To my surprise, it was no news to them. They both went on to tell me of several similar stories they’d heard about.
The stories almost convinced me that I had perhaps made a mistake and ought to have tried to take the offer. Now that I have been able to secure a placement in the bank, I have been overwhelmed with different stories circulating in the system. If one is not careful, you will end up joining the band wagon. The banking sector is a peculiar place to work. Some colleagues have admitted dating their bosses just so they could secure their jobs. They are afraid that that the men would begin to find fault with them and force them out, should they refuse. And there is little one can do. From young single ladies to older married ones, it’s a similar story.
Sometime, I even think the married ones are more promiscuous than the single ones. And it’s not just the bosses alone, sometimes many have to use the same method to secure accounts and even hold on to account because of the stiff competition in the industry. To make matters worse, a boss might set you up with the client for the sake of an account.
A lot is going on here and it seems there is no way out for now, especially when you consider the economic situation of the country. Nigeria is now such a vicious society to live in. You are either in or out in the cold, and there is little anyone can do for you. You just have to protect yourself. As soon as I finish Chattered Accounting examinations, I am leaving this job. What I will not subscribe to is harassment that will not bring anything positive to me. If I’m harassed and I will benefit from it, then, I will do it.
Comments
Post a Comment