Society : GENDER ROLE IN MARRIAGE : To Be or Not To Be?
Canice
Without roles, there cannot be organisation in anything done by more than one person.
Roles make for efficiency in teamwork.
And I dare say that the absence of roles in any setting involving more than one person is an invitation to what an English Philosopher, THOMAS HOBBES, termed as A State Of Nature which entails Human's Inhumanity To A Fellow Human.
.
Make no mistake about it;
The kitchen is necessarily the role of a wife in marriage.
Anybody that claims otherwise is living in self-deception.
It is the duty of a woman (among other things) to prepare meal for the family always.
But then,
A time may come when the woman may get incapacitated either through health, work or other responsibilities outside her home,
The husband out of love and understanding can take up that role of cooking in order to help his woman and ensure smoothness in the teamwork in the family.
This may not in anyway make cooking his permanent role in the family - Rather It may just be a temporal help to his incapacitated wife at that moment.
.
In same vein,
Providing financially for the family is solely the duty and role of the man.
Anybody that disagrees with this is not being sincere with himself.
No matter how rich and comfortable a wife is, it will still be her husband's job to provide for the family.
This is the role of a husband in the family.
But then,
A time may come when it will become so difficult for the man to handle his role effectively.
Here, the wife out of love and understanding may decide to help hubby out financially in order to ensure the smooth running of the family without financial hitches.
This will not mean that it will be her permanent role as a wife to provide the finances of the home.
It may also be a temporal measure as the need applies.
Here,
She is only helping out as a team player would and should do.
.
Take for example;
In football, every player has his own role and position to play on the pitch.
Now, there can be a case where an attacker may leave his role of striking to go and do some defending for his team.
It will not mean that he does not know his role of attacking anymore or that he has permanently abandoned that role.
Rather, he has seen the need to help out the defenders who may have been overwhelmed by the opponents' attacking force.
And when it is time for his team to attack once again, he would not say
"I Just Defended, Therefore, I Cannot Do My Role Of Attacking Anymore Since I Just Did Someone Else's Role Of Defending"
Nope!
Rather, he would run towards his position in order to make sure that he helps his team to score a goal or at best, he does the scoring himself.
This is what teamwork is all about.
This is the kind of teamwork that should exist in marriage worldwide.
But what do we have?
.
In marriage today,
Whenever the husbands find themselves always cooking for the children while the wife comes home late due to her tight work schedule,
These husbands get to insist that their wives surrender their salaries to them since she is not doing her main role in the family.
These husbands would insist that since they are doing their wife's role in the family, that it is pertinent that the wife takes up their husbands' role of financing too in the family.
THIS DEMAND IS ILL-INSPIRED AND WRONG !!!
.
Similarly, many wives that have become the bread winners of their family due to their husbands' financial challenges, have abandoned the house-chores, cooking and other domestic works they used to do when they newly got married.
This they insist on because they believe that since they ve now taken up their husband's role of financing the home, that their husbands must as a matter of necessity, become the wives of the home while they (wives) become the husbands.
THIS IS EQUALLY EVIL.
.
I believe this is the reason why a group of people believe that the concept of roles in the family should be abrogated, removed and cancelled, and I say No.
What couples need is
to understand that despite their roles in the home, that you can still temporarily take up your partner's role as a way of helping him/her out of love and understanding.
This is why it is important for everyone to marry someone he or she loves.
Someone whom you will gladly take up his or her role (without abandoning yours) when they become incapacitated.
.
When you find that special someone,
Your family would be a sight to behold.
Without roles, there cannot be organisation in anything done by more than one person.
Roles make for efficiency in teamwork.
And I dare say that the absence of roles in any setting involving more than one person is an invitation to what an English Philosopher, THOMAS HOBBES, termed as A State Of Nature which entails Human's Inhumanity To A Fellow Human.
.
Make no mistake about it;
The kitchen is necessarily the role of a wife in marriage.
Anybody that claims otherwise is living in self-deception.
It is the duty of a woman (among other things) to prepare meal for the family always.
But then,
A time may come when the woman may get incapacitated either through health, work or other responsibilities outside her home,
The husband out of love and understanding can take up that role of cooking in order to help his woman and ensure smoothness in the teamwork in the family.
This may not in anyway make cooking his permanent role in the family - Rather It may just be a temporal help to his incapacitated wife at that moment.
.
In same vein,
Providing financially for the family is solely the duty and role of the man.
Anybody that disagrees with this is not being sincere with himself.
No matter how rich and comfortable a wife is, it will still be her husband's job to provide for the family.
This is the role of a husband in the family.
But then,
A time may come when it will become so difficult for the man to handle his role effectively.
Here, the wife out of love and understanding may decide to help hubby out financially in order to ensure the smooth running of the family without financial hitches.
This will not mean that it will be her permanent role as a wife to provide the finances of the home.
It may also be a temporal measure as the need applies.
Here,
She is only helping out as a team player would and should do.
.
Take for example;
In football, every player has his own role and position to play on the pitch.
Now, there can be a case where an attacker may leave his role of striking to go and do some defending for his team.
It will not mean that he does not know his role of attacking anymore or that he has permanently abandoned that role.
Rather, he has seen the need to help out the defenders who may have been overwhelmed by the opponents' attacking force.
And when it is time for his team to attack once again, he would not say
"I Just Defended, Therefore, I Cannot Do My Role Of Attacking Anymore Since I Just Did Someone Else's Role Of Defending"
Nope!
Rather, he would run towards his position in order to make sure that he helps his team to score a goal or at best, he does the scoring himself.
This is what teamwork is all about.
This is the kind of teamwork that should exist in marriage worldwide.
But what do we have?
.
In marriage today,
Whenever the husbands find themselves always cooking for the children while the wife comes home late due to her tight work schedule,
These husbands get to insist that their wives surrender their salaries to them since she is not doing her main role in the family.
These husbands would insist that since they are doing their wife's role in the family, that it is pertinent that the wife takes up their husbands' role of financing too in the family.
THIS DEMAND IS ILL-INSPIRED AND WRONG !!!
.
Similarly, many wives that have become the bread winners of their family due to their husbands' financial challenges, have abandoned the house-chores, cooking and other domestic works they used to do when they newly got married.
This they insist on because they believe that since they ve now taken up their husband's role of financing the home, that their husbands must as a matter of necessity, become the wives of the home while they (wives) become the husbands.
THIS IS EQUALLY EVIL.
.
I believe this is the reason why a group of people believe that the concept of roles in the family should be abrogated, removed and cancelled, and I say No.
What couples need is
to understand that despite their roles in the home, that you can still temporarily take up your partner's role as a way of helping him/her out of love and understanding.
This is why it is important for everyone to marry someone he or she loves.
Someone whom you will gladly take up his or her role (without abandoning yours) when they become incapacitated.
.
When you find that special someone,
Your family would be a sight to behold.
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