Society : My Divorce A Day After My Wedding

Inside Asiedua’s Chest - My divorce a day after my wedding
day
Yes I am seeking divorce already! We met about a year ago
at a friend’s birthday party. We started off by exchanging
numbers then became friends few weeks after we met. On
a dinner date one cozy night, Joojo Bentil asked me to be
his wife. I laughed very loud. Then I said to him, “But you
barely know even my name, and I do not know if your name
is what you say it is.”
“I see in you all the qualities of the perfect wife I have been
praying to meet,” he said with conviction and an obviously
lump in his throat. He swallowed hard. I smiled. Then he
asked “will you be in a relationship with me, please”? This
time, I didn’t think twice, I just said yes. You know why? I
had waited too long for that. You have no idea the things I
imagined when he refused to let go of my hands after the
introduction.
Do you remember the things you did in the first two months
of your relationship? Ours was awesome; we spent so much
time together and a talked on phone the little time we were
not together. There were days that we could go to the
beach, sit and watch the sea waves till dawn. I just can’t
describe how I felt during those days, we could sit for hours
especially at night, without a word but it still felt so good.
We could walk hand in hand for hours, talking about nothing
in particular and time seemed to fly faster than the shuttle
that took American astronauts to the moon.
One of those nights, I turned to face Jo, as I often call him,
looked into his eyes and said “I wish we would be like this
forever”. Jo looked at me and said he wished so too and we
sealed it with a kiss. Before we knew, the sweet two months
were over and the problems had begun.
Our first fight was about a phone call. Jo promised to call
me back after someone had interrupted our discussion on
phone one evening. I waited for some time but he did not
call back. I tried to call and guess what? Jo’s phone was
off. I don’t know why exactly I was worried but I was. What
made it worse was that, Jo had told me his ex-girlfriend had
not gotten over him and she sometimes bothered him with
phone calls.
A lot of thoughts were running through my mind - was Jo
with his ex? Was he speaking with her on another line? I
know this wasn’t right but the thought of him being okay
was the last thing on my mind. I laid on my bed thinking
about the lie Jo was going to give me the next day.
My phone was the first thing I grabbed when I woke up the
following day. I checked and saw that Joojo had called three
times already and sent four messages. The first message
read
“I’m sorry I couldn’t call back bae (slang for baby). My
phone went off and there was dumsor, the lights came back
this morning. Then the second one said “Please pick up and
let me explain, hun (slang for honey).”
The third one that got my head spinning went like “Baby,
you’ve become part of me now and I won’t do anything to
hurt you…pls let’s not allow this to destroy the great union
we have started…I love you and nothing can change that…
please pick my call. Love, Jo”. Honestly I wasn’t angry with
him and I asked myself why he thought I was angry with him
but I forgot about it.
We rode on like nothing had happened but the problems kept
coming, most of which had to do with Jo’s ex-girlfriend but
we managed them.
In one of our conversations one day, Jo asked me about
how I wanted my wedding to be. The question got me
smiling and rolling my eyes. Then I told him about the
fairytale wedding I had always dreamt of and the
honeymoon in Barbados. Yes! I wanted that because I had
always believed that my wedding day was going to be the
start of something extraordinary and we both deserved a
wonderful beginning that would resound throughout our
lives. Then Jo said, “Most women say they want very
simple and classic weddings but they always have very
grand weddings, hmm…but I’m in for anything that will
make you happy my love. I just can’t wait to make you my
wife” Those words got me smiling the rest of that day.
I couldn’t wait to be his wife either! Jo was the best of all
the guys I had dated. I had always thought my ‘first’ (the
man I lost my virginity to) was my best until I met him. I
could see my husband anytime I looked at him and I felt so
safe whenever I was with him.
It got more serious after Jo took me home to meet his
parents after church one Sunday. Jo told his parents that
we were going to get married soon. I looked at him in
surprise. Yes I did, because he hadn’t proposed. I had
forgotten his words on the day we met. When we left his
parents home, I asked him if he meant that and he said yes.
Fact is words can’t express how I felt on that day.
Jo came with his father and some two elders to declare his
intentions to marry me. The date for the marriage ceremony
was set when they came to do the ‘knocking’ or ‘kokooko’ a
week after. Preparations for the D-day began immediately.
Jo and I discussed the wedding almost every time we met
or talked on phone. I told him I wanted an all white outdoor
garden wedding and a dazzling wedding reception. We sat
with a wedding planner and drew a plan, set an amount for
the wedding and noted our expenditure. After a few
consultations, everything was set.
Jo came back from work the following day with some good
news. Joy FM wanted to open the 2015 beauty and Bridal
Fair with our wedding ceremony. That was good news! Then
I started imagining how that was going to be like, being on
the cover of the Joy FM Beauty and Bridal Fair magazine. I
couldn’t wait!
We hired vendors, bought the wedding gown and the
groom’s attire. Photographers, caterers, and invitation cards
were taken care of by Jo’s parents. Some things changed
from then. The traditional wedding was slated for Friday at
my father’s house and then my dream wedding ceremony
was going to be held at the Accra International Conference
Center and the dazzling reception, at a location in East
Legon.
I checked the countdown calendar and we had just two
weeks to go. Everything was almost set. The pre-wedding
photo shoot was scheduled for the week before the
wedding. That was done successfully at a location outside
Accra.
The traditional marriage ceremony day arrived so fast.
Unlike the wedding itself, the traditional marriage ceremony
was to be done in a short and simple way. The whole house
had been decorated. Some family members had come from
our hometown to support and everyone seemed so excited. I
had relaxed enough on the previous day so I woke up very
early on that day. Did you just ask about bachelorette
party? Well, I did not consider myself a bachelorette
because I was in a committed relationship.
Phone calls and congratulatory messages started coming in
as early as 4am, that day was about Jo and me, we were
the topic for discussion in both families. I started feeling
like a star already. The ceremony was attended by close
family members and few close friends. It was a very brief
ceremony. Both families made merry after the rites were
performed. We took some pictures and went to rest for the
next day. I thought Jo had gone to do same because he left
earlier and his phone was off. “He wants me to miss him
ahead of tomorrow” was what I thought so I stopped calling
after trying a few times.
That night, I had a wonderful dream. And guess which part
of the wedding I dreamt about? The part where Jo was
looking straight into my eyes and saying these words “Until
today, the day that I told you I loved you, the day that I knew
I was going to marry you, that was the best day of my life, I
vow to protect you, care for you and love you forever.”
Touching! I woke up with tears in my eyes and saw my
mum sitting next to me on my bed. She smiled, said good
morning and handed over a little box to me. It contained a
beaded necklace. I smiled back, thanked and hugged her. I
know mummy is going to miss me styling her hair, doing
her make-up and taking photographs of her before she
stepped out every day but she was happy for me.
What I was worried about was time. Thankfully, the make-
up artist and hair stylists arrived very early. I peeped
through my window and there it was. The 2012 Bentley
Continental GT from EuroStar Limousines was parked in
front of the house. After some hours, we were set to go. Jo
had phoned earlier to say they were leaving the house. I
could see the crowed that had gathered in front of the
Conference Center as the car entered the place.
“So in the next two or so hours, many things were going to
change”- this thought kept running through my mind.
Everybody was waiting to see the bride-friends, family and
all. The thousand cameras and eyes that were ready to see
me got me feeling nervous. And omg…It felt so great! It was
my day! The ‘ayefro-oo-oo- dondo-oo’ screams from the
crowed and the- I’m- proud -of- you- smile on my parents’
faces added to the great feeling. I hadn’t felt like that in my
whole life.
The procession was smooth. Before I knew it, I was facing
Jo in front of a congregation at the Accra International
Conference Center. The exchange of vows and rings did not
take so much time. The opening of the Joy FM Beauty and
Bridal Fair was done after the marriage ceremony. Holding
hands, Jo and I visited the stands and shops at the fair and
took photographs with almost everyone who came. I smiled
throughout the period that my cheeks hurt after the
recession.
My dream had come true. It was time to go home and
change for the reception. Jo and I had practiced some
dance moves for the occasion. We did not spend much time
at the reception. Something else was calling. Hellooo! I
know what you are thinking and yes you’re right. Lol
We wanted to open our new home with it but, at the same
time we wanted to do it in Barbados when we have arrived
and relaxed. Hmm…confusion! Jo put me in the mood when
he carried me into the car. “I will be back shortly, my lobe”.
He said, kissed me and run off. I picked up his phone to
take a selfie and guess what I saw?
A picture of Jo and his ex-girlfriend kissing was his screen
saver! I blinked and looked at it again and said nothing. This
got me to go through his pictures. The screen saver was
just a tip of it. I saw naked pictures of Jo and ex-girlfriend in
bed. Just like you are thinking now, I thought they were old
pictures but no, they weren’t! I checked the details and they
were taken the night before, the eve of our wedding!
Jo came back and met me crying in the car. He asked what
the problem was but I was speechless. I didn’t know what to
ask, why I should ask and what I wanted to hear. I was so
confused! I threw his phone, got out of the car and started
running. I didn’t know where I was going, I was just going
and he followed with screams “hear me out, please”.
I don’t know how I ended up in bed but I woke up in my
father’s house. And that was how my one-day honour as the
proud bride at the 2015 Joy FM Beauty and Bridal Fair came
to an end. It was all a show but I enjoyed every bit of it.