Society: ORIAKUS! !!

MEN HAVE BECOME ORIAKU(S)
During the days when my dad married my mum, men where the sole heads of their respective homes.
Most women were stay-home mums like my mother. They take up the man's surname, bear his children, run his home
and look after the children.
And most men were the sole provider and the protectors of their families. They pay the rents, send their children to school, gives their wives allowances for the home upkeep and provide clothes for their wives and children.
Those were the days when women in Igbo land were referred to as "ORIAKU", days when men competes amongst themselves whose wife is more fed and well catered for than the other.
And when some of them lord over their wives, it made sense. At least men were the breadwinners those days unlike today.
These days some men now competes for the ORIAKU position in their homes.
It beats me that today's men are more like stay-home dads while their wives took the reigns from them.
A woman would take up your miserable surname, bear your children, pay the rent, sort out the children's school fees, run the home, feed you, put a cloth on your naked body, f*ck you for free, and yet you as a good for nothing man(oji amu, eji ego) would still want to lord and rule over her.......
(Odiro kwanu possible).
There's this very rich woman(Mrs Okafor) from my town, very well respected by the men in my town and neighbouring towns because of her generosity especially to widows.
She's very hard working and intelligent, and excelled in all her endeavours as she climbed cooperate ladders faster
than her male colleagues. She was the breadwinner of her family, as she was married to one of those too handsome
type of men who had nothing to offer, except for his surname and handsome self.
My town people nicknamed him ORIAKU, a name he proudly took up and beared with ease.
He never tried to lord over his wife. He appreciated her and did everything to please her.
He drove the latest cars, his children schooled overseas, he lived in the highbrow areas of the Lagos island(Ikoyi), he wore the best clothing money can buy, and all these were courtesy of his good rich wife.
The man knew his place and took it.
His wife had tried several times to set him up in different ventures, and he always ends up not being able to account
for all the money given to him.
There's this other lady(Aunty Ify) from the area where I grew up in. She's a building contractor, while her husband is a
draft and pool man.
She's the breadwinner, while the man does nothing to help at all.
On finding out that her husband isn't eager to change their living standard, she took up the reigns, and decided to make her mark in the building field. She worked hard and
with the help of her younger sister who was living with her she was able to also run her home.
She once told me that she got tired of nagging her husband for money to feed her kids, when she decided to go out and
become productive on her own when her second child, a baby girl was barely 9months old.
God being with her, she became a popular building contractor, and began to make good money.
Funny enough, her oji amu-eji ego husband wanted them to have more kids, because she only gave birth to two, a boy and a girl.
He wanted her to account for all the money she made and how she made them.
He wanted her to put the first car she bought on his name, and wanted to be the one cruising it, while she keeps jumping okada and public transport when she's out to run her daily business......
She refused and stood her ground, and when she got tired of arguing and quarrelling with him, she asked him to move
out of the house she bought in her name(Wise woman)
Another woman in such situation(Ijeoma),my very good friend who claimed to be a "virtuous woman" did the exact
opposite of the first two women.
In her own case she was having trouble with giving her husband a child, though she conceives and ends up miscarrying the baby before six months.
She runs her business under his name and signature, buys cars with his name, banks her money in his account, and even begs him for her money to be able to recharge her phone or replace her phone whenever she looses them.
This guy was a typical "ORIAKU" than the first man, because he practically bullies and lords my friend with ease.
When she gives excuses for returning home late or for having a low battery while away from home, she gets beatings from him.
And whenever I complain, she'll say it's because she hasn't given him a child yet.
I used to wonder then how she wouldn't miscarry during pregnancy, because the type of business she runs was fit for
men alone, yet her oji amu- eji ego husband wouldn't give her breathing space and peace of mind.
Finally, he impregnated another woman, moved out of my friends house, rented another apartment for himself and the
new woman, married her, and took along with him my friends life savings and cars..... Living her a broken woman.
Okay oooooo......
Now let me say this to all these lazy men out there.
Unless you are ready to be like the husband of Mrs Okafor the first woman, you have no right being in any woman's
life.
You don't expect to control a woman who feeds you and your kids, clothes you, buys and fuels the car, pays the children's school fees, and still gives you pocket money.
You can't eat your cake and have it back, it doesn't work like that.
It's either you are the man of the house or you are the woman of the house, because no ship has ever sailed well with two captains on deck.
You can't lazy around, and still expect a woman to give account of how she spent her hard earned money on your
lazy ass. If you try, you need to be shown the door like the second woman "Aunty Ify".
As for awon virtuous and righteous women like my friend Ijeoma, believe me your virtuosity would only make you miserable if you don't use your brains in time.
Please and please, I am begging women to mind the type of men they marry.
Believe me, my friend Ijeoma knew her husband was lazy and a control freak. She was even rich when she met him,
yet she thought marriage would change him, but it made him worse.
Marriage no be by force.
Marriage is not a do or die affair.
Marriage certificate is not a heaven's certificate.
Marriage is not going out of fashion.
Stop picking up every good for nothing men, and marrying them all in the bid to bear "MRS".
Women should know that marriage is not about the status only.
If he's not a partner and your best friend,
If he's not the type of man you can relate with,
If you both have nothing in common and no mutual understanding, please do not marry him at all.
Marriage is to be enjoyed, not endured.

I'm out